Let me start off with this spoiler alert… I love this game. If you really care about my opinion keep going but if nothing else shut off your computer and go buy this game. With that said, if you enjoy looking like an idiot in all the other Kinect games, this one is the worst of them all. Imagine Dance Dance Revolution, but with better songs and actual dance moves.
I am the current reigning champion of Lady GaGa’s Poker Face, Having amassed 5 stars and almost a million points on hard difficulty. By reigning champion I mean between the 5 people on my friends list that have a Kinect. The game is really good at helping you out by first breaking down each move slowly and making you repeat it correctly 3 times because the human brain has to see hear or do something 3 times to get it. (Thank you Psych 241) Easy is the only level you can complete without doing this training.
As I do with every game I start on Easy to get acquainted with the controls and get familiar with scoring. Starting the “Break It Down” training I learn the few basic moves, sliding then clapping is the mainstay of Lady GaGa. What turns out is my Achilles Heel is the Blazer Step; I still can never get it quite right after a solid 30 times. Easy gets knocked out no problem with only 6 simple moves, and over a little too quick. In the middle of this, what might be considered a break you get to “Freestyle.” Freestyle is where Kinect does what it knows best and take a bunch of time-lapse pictures to make you look like a goofy idiot. Time to kick it up to Medium! Medium is better but still a little too easy to dance through. Second time through this song but at least it’s not terrible. Freestyle I look even dumber if possible. Now it’s time to kick Dance Central up to 11 and Break It Down on Hard.
Hard adds a whole bunch more moves that contain exciting to watch rhythmic flailing. Hard is finally worth considering this a real dance! This level is where you might actually be able to use moves in public if you ever wanted to dance. Miraculously I somehow manage 450,000 points for at the time the record for my friends list. I should point out I have no females on my list so this is an achievement in and of itself, 5 guys in their 30’s competitively dancing against each other. This original score turned out to be some kind of Mt Everest for my friends, not able to get over the 400K mark.
Going through a few other songs it’s all new dance but nothing quite like the excitement of your first run through of Poker Face. Score wise, nothing spectacular here; we’re all within a few thousand points of each other on the songs. These are all your typical dance club beats ranging from 70’s disco to the hip hop (quite literally!) of today. Turns out that a bunch of 30yr olds aren't that graceful and moves start including more jumping which makes the scores for everyone drop But what about multi-player you say?
Right about now it’s Christmas time in Colorado and the annual party turns in to a throw down. Imagine if you will a peaceful Christmas, gifts exchanged and board games for all. That lasted for about 20 minutes until a verbal gauntlet gets tossed to the ground. To the basement marches a line of what only a few minutes ago were friends talking in museum level soft spoken voices. Sweaters and collared shirts give way to t-shirts. Heels, boots, and a very stylish pair of Sketchers (If I do say so myself) are in a big pile and about a dozen people stand there in socks watching the Kinect start up.
Everyone seems to take a warm up dance of you guessed it… Lady GaGa’s Poker Face. I lie in wait, watching my competition Blazer Step, and finally the party notices I haven’t moved or spoken. In what feels like a ninja style leap I’m on my feet and ready to dance. Warm up Lady GaGa, I beat my score and hit above 500,000 on just the practice. “Dude you just got half a million points!” Jedi Swayze shouts from the back.
Now no more of this single player practice! 2 men enter, 1 man leaves… DANCE OFF!!!!! Both people dance the same dance, alternating back and forth mid song to make this a true competition and not just 2 people playing single player again. This dance off against the aforementioned Jedi Swayze I increase my score yet again, at almost 700,000 points. If you remember previously I have almost doubled my own top score at this point. Jedi however has now increased his score to over 600,000, nipping right at my heels. Time to stop playing around, I go all out, put it all on the line and save nothing for later. The now 17th time I have heard Lady GaGa in one night I pull 819,000. But it is not my hard drive!
Now a month later, Jedi has yet to beat my score on his system and his new motto is “It just stares me in the face laughing at me, because I know it’s not mine.” You need this game if only to try and beat my score.
That’s how this gamer sees it
-Pimpnelli
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